Why Fashion Needs to Condemn Patriarchy

Hello Fashionators!

Happy Tuesday! Sorry I didn't post yesterday, I was busy at Upper Street getting ready for the Sample Sale! Upper Street Shoes of London is hosting a sample sale specifically for shoes sizes 40-44. The sale include shoes from the Nicole Smallwood Ready To Wear Fall/Winter Collection, which are all 30% off and custom-designed shoes, which are up to 50% off! 

If you're like me and don't have larger feet (I'm extremely average with my 38.5 sized foot) and, like me, love the Nicole Smallwood collection, don't fret! You can email Upper Street at iloveshoes@upperstreet.com and order any pair in your size at no extra cost! The only difference is that delivery will take longer, as they are not pre-made. Start shopping now (or later if you want to read the rest of my post) at: http://www.upperstreet.com/sample-sale/signin/ 

Today after work, I was reading Glamour UK, a women's fashion and lifestyle magazine, on my iPhone. I was scrolling through some makeup articles when I came across one with looks I often mimic, but was confused by the copy under them. One of the looks was dark, dramatic lipstick (like the one I just paid $25 for) paired with light skin (because a faux tan in London in February would appear so natural). The article condemned it because "He'll run for the hills, probably screaming." The next look was a dramatic eye with an over stated eyeliner on the lower lash line- another couture look. I was confused when I read that that "he won't like it". When they spoke against bright pink lipstick for not being "kissable", they'd gone too far. Who is "He", since when does fashion have to be practical, and why are they condemning on-trend makeup looks for this anonymous "him"? I scrolled up and felt sick to my stomach when I read the title:

Five Ways NOT To Do Your MakeUp For Valentine's Day

Excuse me? I can't sport dramatic makeup on Valentine's Day because my boyfriend won't like it? I found two* very large problems with this.

1. Female Sexism: I can do whatever I please, and I plan to do so. This includes my actions, choices, look, etc. In this context, we are talking about physical appearance. I am rendered as a legal adult and will do as I please with my body. If I want my nose pierced, I will get my nose pierced. If I ever feel so inclined to chop my hair off, I will. If I want to wear black lipstick on Valentine's Day, I will find black lipstick. I refuse to attempt a specific look simply because I believe it will be pleasing to my boyfriend, any other male, or even any human. My boyfriend has gone out of his way to tell me that he appreciates that I enjoy taking risks with dark lipsticks, different looks, and experimenting with my wardrobe. He has also gone out of his way to tell me that he hated a particular pair of shoes I owned- Steve Madden Gammblee heels. Luckily for him, they died a tragic death in a fire (you can't make these things up). While my boyfriend doesn't always love what I'm wearing, he always loves me for being independent and passionate about my look, and that is far more important. 

2. Male Sexism: This article assumes all men have the same aesthetic preferences. The author wrote this from the perspective that men are a cohort with homogenous preferences rearding women's physical appearance, which is quite insulting to men. Men are more complex than this, and I feel that society often ignores this and assumes that all Western men want a six-foot-tall glamazon who weighs about 115 pounds, has legs for days, wavy blonde hair, and icy blue eyes. Each man is different and has a unique preference for physical appearance. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, not society. 

*Another issue is the assumption that women can only be with men on Valentine's day, which is an important LBGTQ issue. For the sake of brevity, I will be focusing on the male-female relationship alone. I also only have experience with romantic relationships with men, so I feel it inappropriate to speak for the LBGTQ community when I, in fact, cannot. I will ally with them, though!

I try not to become irrationally bothered by sexism and societal gender norms pressed onto people, but I was very upset by this article. I was most upset that it suggested a woman's value to a man is her appearance and it ripped away her power over her body. When we tell women what to wear, how to do their makeup, and how to act in order to "be the woman all men want", "drive them wild", or "make him fall in love", we are demeaning women. By conforming to standards that we are told we should meet to be seen as attractive or suitable to our male counterparts, we are undermining ourselves as women and putting our value and worth in men's hands. This is extremely dangerous, as it is a patriarchal social system** that we must break away from. 

**Patriarchal systems, while they give men power, also force men to assume "masculine" and "dominant" roles, which puts societal pressure on the men. Not all men want to have shredded abs, be athletes, or act as alpha males. Men should be free to explore interests that are not traditionally "masculine", such as art, cooking, dancing, etc. It is in humanity's best interest to eradicate patriarchy, not just women's. 

Women must dress for themselves. Who cares what your boyfriend thinks? A healthy relationship is one where someone loves you for who you are, not how you look. 

It is crucial to talk about why these articles exist in women's magazines- and not just Glamour; Cosmopolitan, Marie Claire, and Seventeen Magazine all regularly feature articles telling women "What Men Want", "What to Never Tell Your Boyfriend" and "How To Get A Second Date". These authors aren't evil women who want to allure women into the facade of having their worth in a man. They're not even anti-feminist or intentionally undermining women. I honestly believe these authors are writing articles that they believe are relevant to women; demand for these sorts of articles exist. This, however, does not make them acceptable or excusable. Women need to boycott articles instructing them what to do for men. Women should do whatever they want to and find a man who loves them enough to accept that. I'm not suggesting compromise is bad in a relationship, as it is part of any healthy relationship. Patriarchy and chauvinism, however, have no place in modern male-female relations. 

From now on, I will not be purchasing or reading magazines that write or support articles that put social pressure on women to be subservient to men in any way- including their appearance. 

I hope all of my Fashionators feel fabulous in whatever they choose to wear tomorrow and celebrate that they have complete autonomy over what they put on their bodies! 

xo

BJordan